What's the Spamquency, Kenneth?

MORE SPAM. This is much less adorable than the previous two missives from the Russian Lonelyhearts Club. It's just bizarre. I don't understand the point of it. UNLESS the point is to make me intrigued. Because now I am. What does it mean? How does it pertain to my life? Is there some secret code at work here? Is this the sigil of some dark cabal?

Someone get me Dan Brown, stat!

Another charming spammer

Yesterday was Olga's charming email with "Yoyo". Today I get one from Elena with the subject line "Hello!"

I have seen your info and has decided to write to you. I am Elena I write you from Russia from cities of Moscow. I hope, I hope I have made a correct choice, and we can find much in common in each other and we can create family.I am 25 years, growth 178. I never was in a marriage, and I do not have any children. I dream of the large and strong love. I think, that you also dream of it. I hope, our dreams will come true also we probably we shall embody them in the validity. If I am interesting for you, please write to me by my electronic mail: Holodoev1983 [at] yandex [dot] ru

I can't decide whether it is lovely or sad to think of two lovestruck Russian women trying their hand at netting an American husband. Perhaps they share a flat in the suburbs of Moscow. They split the bill on groceries. They have a nightly cup of tea and write emails at their separate desks, lit by candles. The wood floor creaks as the pet koshka slinks across the floor.

Charming Spam

I just got the most charming spam mail ever. She says her name is Olga. The subject line is "Yoyo." Here is the text:

You have drawn my attention to a site of acquaintances. I hope, as I shall like you. How I to you in a photo? The truth - pretty? :) But in a life I more nice!!! And as I cheerful, kind, sociable and fluffy! I like to go in for sports, read books, to listen to music. I love winter and summer. I do not love spring and slush. If I have interested you, with pleasure I shall tell about myself more in the following letter. I wait for the answer on kdighwivan [at] yandex [dot]ru

I'm not going to write back, of course, but reading her broken declarations was a delight.