Bird houses are ridiculous
What next, bird apartments? Bird condos?! Bird yurts?!
Bird brooms for sweeping bird parquet floors
Bird suits so they can look nice applying for bird mortgages
Bird regret as she comes home to her unemployed bird husband, sitting on the bird couch with a bird beer watching the birdsons on the bird TV
She used to soar. In bird high school she was an excellent bird athlete. Got into bird college on a full bird scholarship for bird track and bird field. Fell in bird love. But she was a Blue Jay and he was a Chickadee and her bird parents threatened to cut her out of the bird will if she didn't break it off. The day she bird dumped him was the day she knew the bird price of her bird soul.
And the bird turmoil on her bird emotions had a price too. She couldn't keep up with bird track practice. Her bird times kept bird slipping. She couldn't afford to lose her bird scholarship but the bgh (you know, hgh but for birds) helped. She started rebounding. Making more bird practices. Her times climbing back up only once she reached her old bird times she couldn't stop like she told herself she would. She kept using, kept getting faster and better. Soon other bird athletes started to notice. This Blue Jay who'd been solid if unremarkable before was suddenly stellar. It begat jealousy, which begat rumors which begat accusations which begat an investigation.
A bird investigation.
At that point it was over. The bird jig was up. She lost her scholarship and returned home in bird disgrace.
But she vowed to not let it define her. She got a bird job flipping bird burgers at the bird fast food shop. She kept her bird head down. She paid her bird bills and her bird dues. Lived in her parents bird house. They never looked at her like she was their daughter any more, though. Like she hatched from their egg. They were pleasant enough but kept their bird distance.
That was fine. After their cruel bird ultimatum forced her to see herself in a new bird light she was ok to not be bird adored by them. She would never let another bird make her feel that way again.
So she worked. She saved bird money and did her bird job. Soon her bird bosses began to take notice and gave her more bird responsibilities. With that came more bird money. She paid off the bird school debt and moved into her own bird apartment. She allowed herself the occasional bird's night out. She bird danced.
She met a bird man on the bird dance floor. They had an instant bird attraction. They danced as if they were one bird.
He made her bird laugh. She'd forgotten about bird laughter.
And then the night was over. She was still too bird guarded to go bird home with him and in the closing hour rush lost him in the bird crowd.
She didn't bird cry but she was bird disappointed.
She put it out of her mind that bird weekend and stayed in with bird ice cream and a bird movie ("Birdsmaids"). On Monday at bird work she'd almost forgotten about it when he walked in the bird door.
Bird table for two, he'd said
But you're alone
Take your lunch break.
And from that moment on they'd been bird inseparable.
He'd lit up her life in such a way that she either blinded herself to or deliberately ignored the early warning bird signs. The excessive bird spending. The late bird nights out. The way the bird beer bottles piled up at his bird apartment. He always blamed his bird roommates but it wasn't a total bird surprise when he was suddenly looking for a new bird place to rest his bird head and since they'd been going pretty strong for a couple bird months...
She said yes. He could move in.
He had very little bird things. He'd sold them, he said.
The move in helped put bird rose colored glasses on things. They bird laughed again. They talked about bird marriage, bird kids, saving up a bird nest egg for their bird retirement.
Then she started seeing it again. The erratic bird behavior. Yelling at bird waiters. Quiet moments of bird violence hitting the bird fridge over some hidden bird aggression from the day.
He lost his job the day her egg fertilized.
But at least he was home to keep the egg warm while she went out to her bird job. But bird money was tight and with a new mouth to regurgitate into, she was getting bird worried. And it wouldn't have been so bad if he didn't look at her like he was bird sorry for being bird pathetic all the bird time.
She knew everyone went through rough bird patches. She knew better than most, even.
One day he looked at her and said he had a bird idea. She asked what it was but he wouldn't say. Suddenly bird money was coming in again but he still wouldn't say where it was coming from. Just not to worry and to trust him.
So she did. At first.
Then he started getting bird calls on his bird cell phone at odd bird hours. He'd leave the room to take them and then make up a flimsy bird excuse to leave.
So she started bird following him. Calling out of bird work to see what he was bird doing.
When she found out, she bird sobbed.
It was bird prostitution.
She couldn't bird believe it. He was going out and touching other cloacae and coming home to their shared bird nest! Who knew with what bird STDs.
She came home from work early one day, Hoping he'd be out. He was. She grabbed her bird go bag, the one she kept for bird emergencies, and she grabbed her sweet baby bird egg and made for the door. She hoped she still had some of her own bird track strength, she needed to start running.
She was locking the bird door when he said what are you doing
Oh I was just
You can't leave me, Sharon
Ted I
No. I'm making money again, everything is going to be fine
We can't
Do you even know what I've sacrificed for us? My dignity and pride
We can't do this anymore ted!
The gun was out fast. So fast she didn't even see it.
Look what you've brought me to he yelled.
And three shots rang out. And an egg and two bird bodies fell.
And that's why I'm against bird houses.
Now bat houses, that's another story!
