My Misfiring Heart

For the past year and a half or so, I've been having arrhythmic palpitations.

At first they really freaked me out. I thought I was dying. They led to panic attacks. Then I read up on them and found some relief in that they probably weren't deadly.

The panic attacks went away, but the palpitations didn't. Probably about once a week I have an unnerving, 20 second - or less - episode. It's scary while it's happening but it passes.

Now that I have health insurance, I'm taking action on it.

My primary care physician hooked me up with a cardiologist. They've now fitted me with an event monitor. I have two electrodes strapped to my torso. They had to shave a patch of my chest to make way for one of the patches, the other goes on my side.

The unit is pretty small, about the size of a beeper (remember those?). It comes with a belt clip and hangs out on my pants most of the time.

The wires stick out from under my shirt.

It feels weird. I haven't gotten used to it yet.

It's constantly on, always monitoring my heart. If I feel an attack, I press a button and it records the 30 seconds before I press the button and the thirty seconds afterward.

I then call a toll free number and - and this is the coolest part - I play the recording back through the phone. It sounds like an old dial-up (remember those?) modem. If the folks I call detect something life-threatening, they'll keep me on the line or pass it on to Maine Med.

I can take it off when I sleep, shower and such. The electrodes are just stuck on with sticky tab.

It beeps when I activate it. It's not supposed to beep during the recording, but when we tested it this morning it sure did.

Ah well.

Anyway, if you see wires sticking out from my shirt, hear weird beeping or see me dart off and make a clandestine phone call with a box, that's what's up.

It's all for my heart.