A poem

I wrote this poem on a snowy Wednesday while waiting for the Downeaster to take me to Boston.

I was inspired by a contest on the Boston Globe's website. I'm pretty pleased with how it turned out, though, so I'ma publish it again here, because blogs are where lasting impressions are made.

Broken shovel
snapped blade
lies collecting snow

New wood handle
fresh stained
iron rusted years ago

Joggin, Day Eight!

Today was hard but good and I feel the best I've felt about my health in a while.

I ran 2.74 miles, according to the map. I ran about three hours later in the day than normal. I don't know if it was that or just the general cooldown of late but the temperature was quite agreeable to me. Plus the day is somewhat gusty. That helps.

I did again notice the problems of being in the direct sun. It has a significant effect on how beat I feel.

Normally when I run, I'm too busy focused on the run to think of anything else. Not so, today. My mind could wander for a lot of it. I even got to time the first mile marker. I think I'd forgotten to think about it by the second (also, I had no friggin' clue where it was).

That first mile I ran in about 8.5 minutes. The second one must've been a bit slower and the final 3/4 a drag because the total run was somewhere between 25 and 26 minutes.



I noticed the roads were a lot busier today. I'm guessing that's largely because of the hour. More traffic, more kids, more people out and about. I didn't see a lot worthy of noting, although the house that last time was having historically accurate construction work done was, paradoxically, having high-tech security work done.

The big reason for why I feel so good about today's run: no palpitations. I think I noticed a twinge twice where the ol' ticker was thinkin' about skipping a beat. But it didn't. I noticed nothing funky from the chest beyond that.

So that makes me feel good. Hell, that makes me feel great! I'm getting better at running longer distances (although I still couldn't do the Beach to Beacon, I'm sure (ask me about my Beach to Beacon joke!)) and the heart seems to be reacting well to actually doing things.

Maybe the palpitations were a sign that my heart wanted action? Or maybe just a psychosomatic thing? I'm not guaranteeing that they're gone, but I feel optimistic.

Talking with Liz the other day, I realized they'd dropped in frequency pretty significantly. There are three things that I think contribute to this: change in diet, dramatic cutback on booze intake, exercise.

And I feel good! So... hooray for that.

Hooray!

Joggin, Day Seven!

Man, the map says 2.59 miles, but I'd swear that felt more like 2.6!

Actually, it didn't. Today's jog once again felt pretty darn good. I kept up a consistent pace the entire time, I was tired at the end, but I also felt myself smiling AND I managed to run pretty quickly for the final leg.

So I'm calling it a success.

There's a mostly-solid blanket of clouds, which helped. Also, it's warm but not hot and most importantly, it is not humid. As I stepped outside there were little drops of water falling intermittently. It wasn't sprinkling and it certainly wasn't raining. It was just thinking about it. Putting it's big toe in before diving in the lake.

I guess it thought it was too cold, because for the duration of my jog, no rain fell. And when I made it home, the sky did the same thing again. Sent down a few exploratory drops and then decided against raining.

Today I saw a uniform truck parked off the Western Prom. He wasn't making a delivery. I'm assuming he was having a lunch break. Sitting in the middle of the prom was a nurse stretching. He saw me coming and a look came over his face like he most've known how silly he looked. Wearing his blue hospital suit, pulling back his leg and craning his back while overlooking the Fore River and South Portland.



I saw another jogger today. And as I came around the crook of the Western Promenade Road - about where it hits ninety degrees by the cemetery, I saw another delivery truck parked out, having lunch.

I saw a construction crew working on an old red house. They were restoring the roof and the side of the truck promised that they were "historically accurate." I saw another reroofing project that made no such project and, in fact, tossed a mess of shingles down three stories through living tree branches.

I saw two little girls standing outside an apartment complex. They were dressed in full headscarf and flowing dress apparel.

I saw an old punk. He was out walking his dog. Skinny. He had impressive male pattern baldness. What was more impressive, though, was the hair he had. It was about a foot long and died orange. He was wearing a white t-shirt, tattered jean vest, chucks and, I believe, just plaid boxers for pants. His vest was covered in patches and safety pins. He was smoking a cigarette and contemplating picking up his dog's poop.

He'd apparently thought about it enough as I started to run by as that's when he dropped the cigarette, made a glove from the plastic bag and picked up after his dog.

I saw four kids in their late teens. Their dress was hipster-lite and they were wielding DIY kites made from trash bags.

As I rounded the corner closest to the hospital, I saw someone had left tiny jars of play-doh on the dirt-retaining wall.

I did have palpitations. The requisite three. They felt pretty minor, but I recorded them this time (finally!) and sent them in to Philips.

Now to shower and meditate on dinner. And the Brenda album. I'm still not sure what all I'm going to write about.

Joggin, Day Six!

This was, hands down, the hardest day of jogging I've done yet.

And I'm not entirely sure why.

Actually, I have my suspicions. Suspicions that rhyme with "nehydration" and "nexhaustion."

I did manage to complete the jog, though! And I managed to tack on a bit more distance, although I did do that at the expense of my overall speed.

I also am blaming the air quality today. It is thick and unforgiving and the sun is hot. Any time I spent in the light of the Sun left me instantly ruing the lack of trees or buildings for cover. It felt like I was breathing bus exhaust most of the time. Unsatisfying, to say the least.

I took off running and was having issues by the time I reached the prom... not a quarter of a mile into the jog. I don't think I slept properly the night before. Just not enough sleep. On top of that, I drank a fair amount of coffee Friday. While my coffee drinking today wasn't eyebrow-raising in any way, I think I might've still been working from a hydration deficit. Or at the least just having recently gotten to the point of proper hydration.

And man did I sweat today. It is humid and hot. This must be what it feels like to be a thermometer. Just tiring, oppressive heat.

So I started slowing down after reaching the bottom of the hill by the Western Cemetary, just 3/4 of a mile in and knowing it was, literally, all uphill from there. My legs started really protesting by the Ohno Cafe and I was in deep trouble when I turned onto Pine Street.



Then I got a second wind as I stepped onto Vaughan, I think I mostly just realized that I was going to make it. A lot of my motivation stems from "20 minutes isn't so long, in the scheme of things."

And I crossed the finish line and, despite the slow down, my time wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Still not good, of course, but better than I'd expected.

I wheezed and shuffled around the block to cool down, made it back to the apartment and realized there was no way I could stretch. There's no sun and I'm so dehydrated I'm in danger of falling over at any minute.

Stumble up the stairs, pour myself a glass of water. Sit and try not to think about the sheen of sweat over every single inch of me. Dripping down my temples, down my nose.

Just drink the water.

By and by I come back to life and regain some semblances of consciousness. I pick up a magazine, leaf through that as I pound more and more water.

And now I'm feeling OK. It's been about an hour.

Palpitations were minor. I can count on about three per jog, it sounds like. But whereas before I've had sustained flutters over the course of a couple beats, today I just had single spasms. Despite all my complaints.

And I feel good about that, at least.

Today I saw a woman in a sundress chasing after her dog. As I approached, I saw her get out a little poop baggie. Hopefully for the dog. I saw a family picnicking. I saw an evergreen bent back in an uncomfortable looking yogic bridge pose. I saw the same man with the tremendous stomach reading on the prom. I smelled barbecues and smoke. I smelled buses pass me by. I heard women speaking in a foreign tongue. I waved goodbye to my roomer as he left for work.

All right. Now to shower, eat something and go to bed. Some of us have to work stupefying hours.

PS: Worth noting with both days five and six that if you click on the image of the map, it'll take you to the walkjogrun site and you can read more info about my progress. If you're into that, that is.

Joggin, Day Five!

I feel real good about today's jog.

I've been consistently adding length onto my routes. I'm now up to 2.26 miles. Today I ran quite fast for the last block, I wouldn't call it a sprint just yet but it was a real run. There was a legitimate quickness to it. Plus as I finished I felt great! Like I could've kept running.

Of course, I didn't. I don't want to overdo it and wind up miserable for the rest of the day. But I feel good! I'm excited.

There were also two changes that I feel are relevant. I didn't use headphones today. I think I'm going to keep it that way. I like being able to think, or not, I suppose, about whatever I want when I jog. Plus I get my own songs stuck in my head. And that's just fine.



The other (bigger) difference was the route change. Instead of finishing the leg around the cemetery and then heading straight up Vaughan Street I now run down Danforth Street. Those of you familiar with West End topography will recognize that this cuts out a pretty steep incline, instead spreading it out over the gentler slope of Brackett Street.

That was much preferred and I think made the rest of the jog much easier. Plus I got to do more of the jog before the uphill part, which is an easier way to distribute my energy.

Also, I had very little in the way of heart kerfuffles. There was a minor flutter toward the beginning, but once I started controlling my breathing a little more the problems ceased.

Neat! I'm excited for Friday's jog.

Joggin, Days Three AND Four! (isn't you lucky?)

Today I'm actually blogging about TWO jogging experiences.

I didn't miss my third day, last Friday, which is good because I feel like missing either that day or today would be a big detriment to the whole jogging cause. But I did do my running in a wholly new and fairly awesome place: My home town of Sebago.

I was out there taking care of Mum's cat, Emily, while she was off with my Aunt enjoying the Scottish games at Antigonish.

So I decided to do the ol' two birds, one stone trick and take care of my run while I was out there, too. I mapped out my route, lamented the fact that I used to run about twice as far with no problem, and took off.

The route is a little more boring in that it's familiar and mostly straight. It's a little more exciting in that it's tourist season and there's all sorts of stuff going on the whole length of it. I didn't have my headphones - which I think is good given that it's on a fairly busy stretch of 114 - so I was able to hear the ice cream trucks and kids playing and barbecues and such. A happy slice of middle America vacationing in the Pine Tree State.



The best part of the whole thing, though, the awesomest thing I've done after jogging, was jumping straight into the lake. I finished the jog, walked a little bit to cool off, stripped off my shirt and electrodes and hopped straight into Sebago. It was an easy, instant refresh and it stretched out and cooled off my muscles way more effectively than stretching afterwards has yet.

I splashed around for a bit, picked up my stuff and walked home.

Of course, since I accounted for extending my route, that means that my original extension planned for out here in Portland was useless as I was now going to have to add on to even THAT. So, today I plotted out another route, choosing again to tack onto my "old" (all of two days) route. I believe next time I'll switch it up big time.

It went pretty well! I stayed in good form for much longer than I'd anticipated. I also started it off with a bit of a walk and extended my cool down walk.

I used my headphones again. I can still hear them jostling in my aural canals, but it's OK. What really bugs me, though, is when a song has a really strong, driving beat and it's different from my jog. It's a little frustrating because I wind up spending time thinking about synching up my steps to the beat instead of running.

I think in some cases, the beats were just a little too fast and that's good; I'm going to want to be jogging that fast soon if I ever want to make that 6 minute mile mark. Maybe even faster. But sometimes it was just too strong in a weird way.

The tricky part will be figuring out what's what.



Today I saw a babysitter and her three wards under the tree where I'd seen the class. I saw two lesbians and their adorable puppy dog who was playing in the shrubbery. I saw some construction workers who likely keep in shape by using their bodies on the job and grew a little envious. Only a little, though, they weren't so perfect. I saw some rich white people tending to their lawns. I saw a bicyclist smoking a cigarette.

I noticed a couple palpitations this run. I only got one of them recorded. I'll play it back into the phone in not too long and see if they tell me to get mee to a hospital. My guess is no.

I also learned it's wise to check your toenails before heading out. Mine definitely need a trim.

Now, I'm going to hop in the shower, take care of some water and have a nice, easy slumber before work. I sleep so well when I've exercised.

My Misfiring Heart

For the past year and a half or so, I've been having arrhythmic palpitations.

At first they really freaked me out. I thought I was dying. They led to panic attacks. Then I read up on them and found some relief in that they probably weren't deadly.

The panic attacks went away, but the palpitations didn't. Probably about once a week I have an unnerving, 20 second - or less - episode. It's scary while it's happening but it passes.

Now that I have health insurance, I'm taking action on it.

My primary care physician hooked me up with a cardiologist. They've now fitted me with an event monitor. I have two electrodes strapped to my torso. They had to shave a patch of my chest to make way for one of the patches, the other goes on my side.

The unit is pretty small, about the size of a beeper (remember those?). It comes with a belt clip and hangs out on my pants most of the time.

The wires stick out from under my shirt.

It feels weird. I haven't gotten used to it yet.

It's constantly on, always monitoring my heart. If I feel an attack, I press a button and it records the 30 seconds before I press the button and the thirty seconds afterward.

I then call a toll free number and - and this is the coolest part - I play the recording back through the phone. It sounds like an old dial-up (remember those?) modem. If the folks I call detect something life-threatening, they'll keep me on the line or pass it on to Maine Med.

I can take it off when I sleep, shower and such. The electrodes are just stuck on with sticky tab.

It beeps when I activate it. It's not supposed to beep during the recording, but when we tested it this morning it sure did.

Ah well.

Anyway, if you see wires sticking out from my shirt, hear weird beeping or see me dart off and make a clandestine phone call with a box, that's what's up.

It's all for my heart.

Joggin, Day Two!

Today I tried something a little different and went running with the iPod Nano and exchanged a month of rent for with Ben my senior year of college (COLLEGE!). I had forgotten about the thing until the other day, figured I might as well use it when I'm at my grossest, physically. And I say it's different because even before my two-year hiatus, I rarely jogged with music.

I decided the key in selecting songs with it would be short, fast songs. That way I've got a good rhythm driving me and the constant variation keeps me from getting bored with whatever song I'm on.

Two problems: 1) I started worrying I was crawling when I was on the fourth song before I passed a mile; and 2) my earbuds make noise every time the cable jostles. Third issue is I don't have anything to carry the iPod except my mitts (for now). I'm still undecided about the whole experience so I suppose we'll see whether I buy some first-world-accoutrements for my first-world-exercise-routine.

I did manage to add on a whole block to my trip. And since I actually timed it this time, I know I'm running about a ten minute mile. A little less.

I'm going to push myself to do better!

I'd like to do a six minute mile, I think. I'm positive that's a ways down the road (ha!) but I already feel better about this jog over the last. I feel like I was steadier, slightly faster and my breathing was better. And I feel like when I pushed myself at the end, I pushed myself a little harder.

My thighs, however, do not appreciate this. They're killing me.

On my jog up on the Prom today I saw what looked like a class circled in the shade of some trees. I saw an older woman and what could've been her son - but also could've been her May romance - walking small white dogs. I saw a nurse (likely from Maine Med) sunning herself on a bench and I saw a man who looked fit but for a gigantic stomach reading a book. There was a couple sitting above the memorial marker at the Southern End of the Prom.

I did manage to tack on another block, adding a full third of a mile to my run. I've already got Friday's jog plotted out so that I add a full block instead of just adding on three sides of a block. I'll have to run around a kitty-cornered block (Up Neal, down Carrol, back down Thomas, up Pine).



Stretching at the end of the jog is something I have to do in the middle of the street. There's no room in the apartment for such tomfoolery. I feel awkward doing it, but I suppose it's important.

Joggin, Day One!

So, after two years I've finally gone jogging again.

It was not catastrophic! I will be trying to keep this up and to keep pushing myself in it.

I ran about 1.3 miles. It's about 86 degrees out and humid. Although it was more pleasant than being in the apartment. That was until my body was all, "NONONONONONONONONOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" That happened after about a mile. It made my planned sprint for the final blog into more of a mildly-efforted-faster-jog.

And when I got home, I thought that if I didn't die in the next five minutes, I'd probably be killing everyone instead.

But neither came to pass and I drank some water and stretched.

During the jog I noticed a cardinal hanging out in a Smooth Sumac on the Western Prom. As I passed by the bottom of the cemetery, there was some intense animal (I hope) grappling going on in the bushes. My instincts say it was a pair of squirrels but that's mostly because I couldn't bear the idea of it being two small zombies.



I came home and signed up for the site walkjogrun. They do cool things like measure the distance of your route, plot calories and allow you to time it out. My timing in this case (18 minutes) is an estimate because I have no idea how long it was.

I was spurred to jog for a number of reasons. As a desk jockey, I barely get any exercise. I bike to work but it's a pretty short ride, so it's probably not that good for knocking down calories. I walk as often as possible to places across the peninsula, but that's not required all that often AND WHEN IT IS it's generally to some establishment of high caloric intake.

I've also recently been cutting back on drinking, so that should help.

This change has come from three sources; 1) My first doctor's appointment in some 8 years revealed I'm now at 205 pounds and the doctor suggested I exercise; 2) The lovely lady has been (gently) suggesting I get some exercise and eat a little healthier for a while, now, and it's about time I listened; 3) I've been telling myself the same thing, although less insistently.

Day Two will be Wednesday. I will endeavor to further my distance by circling around the block, I think.

Postcards From Morocco

As many of you are aware, I just flew over to Morocco to visit Darlin' Liz. It was a great trip, that much is for certain.


Many of you requested postcards. I have written them, however, I did not get a chance to mail them from outside of the U.S. Sorry. Ran out of time/money at the end, there. They are all purchased from various Moroccan cities (Sidi Ifni, Taroudant, Marrakesh) and written either in Sidi Ifni or on a train somewhere in Spain.

To My Family: I have written you each a little card with an observation.

To My Friends: I have done something else ENTIRELY. You may be looking at your postcard, wondering what the hell I was thinking as I wrote it. Not a complete thought, cut off in mid sentence... starts and ends with ellipses. WELL, that's because I basically just wrote one super long postcard that spanned many cards. 15, in fact.

So now, if you want the full story, the onus is on you to go around, collecting information from those who also received cards. Some of these folks you may never have talked to before, but I assure you they are all good people. You may notice a little number at the top of your card, that's to let you know where in the train you fall. It'd probably be easiest to get the information from those around you first and work out, or if some enterprising individual gets the whole story and wants to share it, that's also cool.

And if someone gets the whole story and sends me it, I'll post it here. I'm working on another blog to detail my trip, though, so it isn't 100% necessary.

I picked the addresses at random, so don't get your ego in a twist because of your number. Also, for some of you I'm just using email addresses I found on the net, if you want a different one there, lemme know.

1. Tristyn K Pease - tkpease[at]gmail[dot]com
2. Rob Wilber - rob_wilber[at]hotmail[dot]com
3. Abby Schmearer - psbika[at]gmail[dot]com
4. Jeremy Griffin - jeremygriffin[at]hotmail[dot]com
5. Max MacCoole - maxwell2885[at]hotmail[dot]com
6. Luke Pola - luke[at]unbalancedhumors[dot]com
7. Jada Fitch - jada[at]jadafitch[dot]com
8. Jason Jewett - jewett[dot]rock[at]gmail[dot]com
9. Tim Banach - chainsawhand[at]yahoo[dot]com
10. Larry & Heather O'Bryan - obryan13[at]hotmail[dot]com
11. Patrick McMahon - deadofnightfilms[at]gmail[dot]com
12. Rachel Sreebny - diplobrat[at]gmail[dot]com
13. Matt Lunt - mlunt57[at]yahoo[dot]com
14. Nick Poulin & Co. - a[dot]nickpoulin[at]gmail[dot]com
15. Eric Sawyer - eto[dot]keep[dot]smiling[at]gmail[dot]com