The Ephemeral Frottage

4.1.05

This article says that someone might actually read this ever. Though I don't give much incentive with my sporadic-at-best updating policy and bland-but-functional format. Tell you what, a new contest. The first reader to write to me in response to something will win a prize of my choosing, maybe a T-Shirt, maybe respect, maybe a can of tuna fish.

This article is simply much cooler. That means that instead of using CG for the big as all get up eagles at the end of Return of the King and in the middle of Fellowship of the Ring, as we all suspect him of doing, Peter Jackson probably just built himself a time machine, corralled the flying, deadly raptors with naught but a rope and his own grim determination and rode them onto set. He then trained them to carefully pick up his actors and be ridden like a horse, then, with a sly grin on his bearded visage, said "Let's do the time warp again," and sent them off to their pre-civilization skies.
See? Much more simple.

30.10.04

The only problem I have with Jeremy's Girlfriend, Reneé, is that she leaves the shower curtain drawn so you can't see into the shower. It shouldn't be a problem, that's a good way to leave the curtain because it prevents mildew and whatnot because it's not all bunched together. I, however, have seen too many horror movies. I think that something lurks behind that curtain. But if I draw back the curtain, the horror or monstrosity will leap from behind and get me. And if I just let it alone then it will come from the shower and kill me, sucking my corpse dry through the eyeballs and leaving my husk draped over the toilet.

18.10.04

Jeremy and I have come up with a name for our band: Rooster Riot Gear.
I know, I know, pretty phenomenal.
The explanation is creepy.
Now, if only we had talent...or a goal...or something.

1.10.04

I think this speaks for itself.

29.9.04

As a male I have named my penis. I call it Bundy. Because it's a ladykiller.
I know, too brilliant for words.

4.8.04

I got an email in my bulk mail folder. The sender was "Useful Health Newsletter" and the subject was "Give her Unlimited Orgasms." I really don't think giving the sender a generic almost real sounding name will lend any creedence to what I would find were I to open that email. Might as well call the sender "Free Porn." And assuming she takes me up on the unlimited orgasms, won't that make her ever doing anything not orgasm related later in life awkward? Job interviews, trying to get loans, driving! My goodness.

15.7.04

I've been playing this game called "Blob Lander". It's a pretty high caliber game based on the simple lander game series. My only complaint was the ending. I wanted more, dammit. Just out of nowhere the game was over. Motherfuckers! I certainly don't have any blobs in space ships here in my apartment? What do they expect me to do? Make up my own fun? That's preposterous, that is. There oughtta be a law...

12.7.04

I bought yogurt the other day and have been eating it because...well...because I like yogurt. The only problem I have with it is that since it's fruit on the bottom, I have to stir it up. Stirring it up mixes in air. I then eat the air in the yogurt and the air forces its way back out in the form of many unpleasant tasting burps.

10.7.04

So, its been over a month. and here is what I give you, three versions of the same test taken by me. I'm sorry, it's pathetic, I know. I know! Just...just leave it be, entertain yourself with the crazy antics of assigning random values to the letters in my name(s).

And finally:

So, as you can all see, the only choice is to call me KBAR from now on.
Or something.

31.5.04

Jobs.
Jobs are necessary for money and what not, unless they aren't. I'm spending the summer here in The Roc and thus need a job to pay for rent and food and other fun necessities. Like toilet paper. I had a job all lined up for when I got down here. I was to campaign in an anti-Bush movement. For the Working Families Party, they seem like good enough people. I share many of their beliefs. They wanted me to canvass neighborhoods, rallying support and...asking for money. Sixty dollars they wanted. And they wanted me to pull in $135 daily. I have a hard time asking for money from people, especially strangers. And this manner seemed especially deceitful. We were encouraged to say that its just five dollars a month.
Bah.
Anyway. I went out on the training day. I was an "observer." It was an unpaid day where I started off watching one guy ask people for money, and then graduated to asking by myself. I got no moolah from anyone. And only two signatures. A bit of a let down, but I was assured that on my first day it was cool if you don't pull in any money. That night at the HQ I filled out the necessary paperwork and the director ladies were like, "Great! You'll need to come in tomorrow with a passport or something to finish filling out paperwork so you can get paid. You'll need to make quota in one of the next three days." I thought to myself, "Great! I think I'm gonna quit by Friday."
They didn't even give me the chance. I got a phone call the next day at 11 AM. Didn't make it to the phone in time. They left me a voicemail. "Hi, Krister, this is Cynthia of the Working Families Party. Sometimes our observers don't work out, and we won't be needing you to canvass for us." Awesome. They fired me over voicemail. I wasted an entire evening with them.
I have another job, though. I'm a waiter now at the City Cafe Diner. Its a chain, I hear, and its much like Denny's. A bit better food. Open 24 hours. I work the night shift. From 9 PM to 6 AM five days a week. I've been on two nights and have a little over $90 cash and about $60 salary dollars earned. I'm pleased with those results. Plus, its decent work. I didn't get a proper training, but I'm learning.
Jobs.