New story

New short story over at grungynoir. It might be a gross violation of the implications of the name of the blog. (It might be a blog's name's implication's gross violation).

1/9/2007

High school girls can be really dumb, he says on his second beer watching Hellboy. All teachers in our high school have, for instance, a study hall. And in that study hall can be any variety of students. Typically not the greatest students because they're in Study Hall and not on Special Privilege (or what have you). So I've had one girl in here all year and she is just a gigantic attention whore. She's a good girl, I like Marie (Pseudonym!) but it's true. She wanders from cluster of boys to cluster of boys eliciting attention and comments in whatever form she can get them. high school boys being what they are (horny) that's mostly sorta flirty insults.

Usually it's no problem. Marie gets her fix and moves on. Today, though, was somehow different and she was protesting the treatment more. Normally I'd've put a stop to it but she was clearly protesting it more because she wanted more attention. Also the kids were being legitimately funny. An example:

MARIE: Hey, guys.
BILLY: You're such a llama, Marie.
TEDDY: Haha, yeah. A llama.
BILLY: You llama. MOOOOO!
TEDDY: Haha, yeah. MOOOOO!
BILLY AND TEDDY: MOOOOOO!!
TEDDY: Llamas don't even go "moo." Marie, you're an alpaca! MOOOOO!
BILLY AND TEDDY: MOOOOOO! MOOOOO!!
MARIE: Whatever, you guys.
BILLY: You're a parrot, Marie. MOOOOO!
TEDDY: MOOOO!

So, she got up and walked over to the door with a pencil, aiming to sign out and wander. Without even asking my permission first.
"Marie," I said, "Where are you going?"
"I need to get out of here! I need to wander!"
"What?"
"Can I go wander, Mr. Rollins?"
"Well," I said, "You can go hang out in the corner."

Also, this girl delivers these fake hiccoughs every now and again for attention. She basically says "eep!" in a falsetto sorta voice.

But she is good people, don't get me wrong. She's just in high school.

Take it, God Dammit

Enjoy!

New Years Post!

Right! I figure if I post these here and other people see them I can force myself to do them because if I don't I'll feel guilty.

Resolutions:
Healthen myself up! This includes eating more healthful foods and less crap foods and losing my paunch and perhaps gaining some muscle mass. I'm going to wait to join a gym until the post-holiday fatties have gotten past their post-binge work-outs.

Get something published. A poem or a story in a magazine. Or a book or publication. Something beyond the tubeoblognets.

Do either the Peace Corps thing or apply for grad school with a linguistics focus. Figure out which one of those my life really needs. See where in the world those will take me.

Date again. I miss dating!

Less heavy drinking, too. This holiday break has reminded me that it's really not that good for you!

So folks, if you don't see me doing these things, make sure you taunt me about it. Shame me into doing them! This list might get stuff added to it.

Excitment!

Whoa! New test results! For those of you who have been waiting with bated breath for what must be a year or so for more test results, you will be pleased to note two sort of thingies.

This one (click here) will tell you what celebrities I look like. Julianne Moore! Woo-hoo.

And this one effectively negates the very last update of this kind which said that if I were a Tarot Card I'd be death. Which one is it? Sun or Death? You tell me!

And by that I mean don't tell me. You'll probably think of something terribly witty like "You're actually the joker" and you'll laugh and your friends will laugh and my friends will laugh and I'll go home and kill myself.

Enjoy!

Telephone Booths

So it used to be that for a good time college kids would cram themselves into telephone booths. Sometimes willingly, sometimes not-so-much. That quaint idea has gone out of vogue, though. As have telephone booths themselves.

What has filled the void, you ask? Facebook groups. The latest one I've seen was "1 million people in 10 days." Trying to cram as many people as possible into one group. There's also "The World's Largest Facebook Group" and that hoax one with the threesome and some wry spin-offs there (My personal favorite of those being "When this group reaches 10 people I'll go masturbate").

Merry Christmas.

jkl;

ASDF is a pretty commonly typed thing. When you're in a rush or don't care about naming something, you save it as asdf. It's a commonly used default password, too. Apparently. There's even a Wikipedia Article about it.

It makes sense, sort of. It's the home row and your hands are on it normally. What I want to know is why is it always "asdf" and not "jkl;"? Shouldn't those characters get their chance to shine? I mean, it seems to me the majority of people are right handing and will continue to be for another generation or two. Why always asdf?

My theory is the mouse. Your right hand's always over there clickin' on shit but you leave the left one on the keyboard for emergency typing and efficiency. Also, we often read left to right (most of the time, I think. I mean. What? Dumb sentence) and ASDF is all over there on the leftest part of the keyboard.

So that's my theory.

Thoughts

Break is upon us in the education bidness. About time, I say!

Colds are bad.

"Sea of Love" is good. At least Tom Waits' version is.

I still haven't given in to the doubled possessive S craze.

Quiche smells good. (Are pigs small mammals? They're smaller than Bone...)

Doug TenNapel's Creature Tech is off to a pretty good start. Great art!

Quiche smells GOOD.

Break is good.

So is guitar.

The end!

...?

My face!

So this is pretty cool.

I went in to the office of my Oral and Maxillofacial surgeon yesterday. Our original plan was to meet last Friday but the Dr. done pulled out my teeth (Dr. Doss) got all sicked up on Friday. So he canceled. I'd had those concerns about infection, too. So that was no good.

But I got in yesterday and the replacement Doctor (never got his name), really jovial fellow, said Dr. Doss was feeling better, had a look in my mouth ("Yeah, that side is angrier than the other"), pulled out my stitches ("Here comes the pinch"), rinsed out the holes (gross) and prescribed me some penicillin (to stave off infection). All in about 4 minutes.

Inside of half an hour all pain in my mouth had vanished. I feel great again. One of the funniest sensations, though, was the removing of the stitch. The tunnel the silk string was through had swollen up around it so when he pulled I felt it all the way. Weird!

But I'm feeling pretty good. Talking doesn't bug me anymore and I'm taking penicillin and life seems to be on the upswing.

What next?! Car trouble? Broken limb? Death, perhaps? Who knows!

Banned Books

Banned books are pretty cool. Censorship is not. We've completely missed Banned Book Week but next year!

You can burn words but you can't burn an idea. It goes beyond that. Part of the necessity of language is it's ability to create original, spontaneous sentences to suit our complex meat machine brains that generate original, spontaneous thoughts.

That's all I got for now, not a very impressive post BUT it was mostly for the purpose of getting this little guy up here:




I got the badge from this site: Newprotest.org