A wonderful new drug

Scientists are trying to make a drug that will diminish social anxiety. I didn't even bother reading the whole article because this wonderful "new" drug already exists. And it's called alcohol. Geez, scientists, get with the program. Why not study something useful? Like perhaps how to stop the inevitable octopus menace?

I almost wrote "inevitable zombie menace" and then realized that'd be less horrifying and more awesome. Zombies aren't smart, they don't have eight prehensile limbs (sometimes they don't even have four limbs!) and they only want brains. Octopuses want power, crabs and to drag you to an inky, horrible and cold death and swallow your soul.

Octopocalypse. It'll happen. I'll be ready. And by ready I mean shrieking on a chair in the kitchen like 50s sitcom wives at the sight of a mouse.