Love is like a rose,
Pretty, delicate
and Bees buzz in your nose.

No, wait.

Love is like a Pancake Stack,
Its best hot and sticky
and Denny's sells them for 5 greenbacks.

Hmm. That doesn't really work either

Love is like a clear summer night after a day of rain.
The air is pure, sweet and fragrant,
And there's nothing you'd ever want to change.

Except the mosquitos.

If Mother Nature were here I'd punch her in the face. We had snow today. Snow! Its April 23rd! Ok, I probably wouldn't punch her in the face, but I would definitely give her a stern talking to. Something needs to be done about this weather.

I am now an Ordained Minister in the Universal Life Church as well. Some of my longer readers might remember my ordination for the Church of Spiritual Humanism. The two churches are surprisingly similar. I don't know why I haven't registered with a state yet, I would like to marry some people, I think. Its free in New York, and costs Five dollars at home in Maine. Should be pretty sweet.

Photo students be damned! Real photographers do it 24 times a second!

John: Hey, those guys think differently!
Paul: That could mean we might be wrong...
John: Well, we can't be wrong if they're dead!
Paul: Lets get 'em!

You'll find this a lot in history.

Impulse buying will be my demise. In a vending machine a few weeks ago I spied "Cherry Blasters." It really didn't have much draw, but it my inquisitive nature, I decided to investigate closer. Beneath the moniker it had a single line that read "With FLAVOUR BITS." Curious, I purchased the item. Its a kind of donut, with some sort of glaze and...well...bits of flavour injected throughout it. I've never had a flavour bit before, unless one considers that everything that I eat is, technically, a bit of flavour.
The cherry blasters earned a "meh." There are indications that they're better microwaved, but I didn't have access to one at the time. Not very healthy though, and they are also disturbingly close to a perfect circle. No donut, in my opinion, should be. I've kept the wrapping, as I find it nearly endlessly amusing. Flavour bits. You don't know what you're getting! What if its month-dead baby frog legs pulled from a swamp? What if its weapons grade plutonium? I think they were probably some sort of sugar. Apparently it is produced by Cloverhill Bakeries. Interestingly, it is a Cleveland based company, yet they use the British spelling of 'flavor.' Superfluous "U"s be damned! I want my food free of limey connections! The Brits are notorious for bad teeth, is it really a good idea to give a donut more connections to tooth decay?
I do, however, like the chef. His name is "Eddie." Neat.

Next on Disgusting Food Products I'd Better Not Joke About Because I'd Probably Try we have a cake with chunks of hamburger in it. Meat Cake.

The residue at the bottom of the plastic bag of the cereal "Extreme Creme Taste Oreo O's Cereal with Marshmallow Bits" smells like sawdust. Tastes good though. Still, I have vague memories of rodents running around and having to clean out the soggy, urine soaked shavings. Oh well, its damn good cereal. Quite the name though. I hope every kid asks for it by its full name when they request it. "Mom, can I get a box of Extreme Creme Taste Oreo O's Cereal with Marshmallow Bits? I'm tired of these Fruit and Frosted O's, I want some more Extreme Creme Taste Oreo O's Cereal with Marshmallow Bits. Come on, Mom, just one box of Extreme Creme Taste Oreo O's Cereal with Marshmallow Bits? If you try these Extreme Creme Taste Oreo O's Cereal with Marshmallow Bits I'm sure you'll agree that I should have Extreme Creme Taste Oreo O's Cereal with Marshmallow Bits." And so on.

Melissa went home today. She was visiting me here in Rochester for a week. It was sad, there was crying. I don't like it when she cries, it makes me sad. I don't think the weather should be allowed to be this nice on a day such as this. Oh well.
I replaced my aviator sunglasses. These new ones aren't quite as dark and are slightly different shaped, but I like the new shape more, I think. These aren't going to any parties without my permission. I'm taking them with me whereever I go. Hopefully they will last for a while, I don't really want to replace them. I think I need to oil the hinges, they stick and squeak. Like a mouse covered in glue.

The other day I had my notebook out and was doodling when the phrase "Fashion in the Face of Danger" popped into my noggin. It turns out, however, its not entirely original. Damn!

I can still claim that "Hungry for the Capitalist Cow" is originally mine, though now in the public domain...