I just spilled some milk, now I think I'm gonna cry. Why? Oh why did this milk have to be wasted? What is the reasoning behind it? Without that much needed calcium my growing bones are apt to become brittle and weak. What are the odds of osteoporosis in men? They just got fractionally higher for me. In all fairness, I didn't spill all that much milk. But some got on my pants. It was traumatic.

I bought a column of Starbursts today. It reminded me of one evening when I was sitting at this video store where I used to work, K&K Video (I didn't include a link because they are Fascists). I had a big bag of Starbursts and was eating them in my usual manner, that is all of one flavor at a time. My coworker, an older unpleasant woman noticed my pattern and said:
That's a strange way of eating them, usually I take one of each kind and eat them.
I stared at her for a minute and went back to my Starbursts.

Gooseflesh
1. Seeing Citizen Toxie at ?The Movies?, a small independent theater back home, with Lloyd Kaufman in attendance. He introduced the movie and afterward there was a question and answer session. We stayed so late that my car was locked in a parking garage. William Lustig was there, too.
2. Coke in 12 ounce cans
3. Nine Inch Nails? album The Downward Spiral
4. Slaughterhouse 5 by Kurt Vonnegut
5. Building a Theramin from a two dollar kit with my dad.
6. Big dinners with my family.
7. Falling asleep with Melissa
8. New Zealand
9. Sweden
10. Samurai Cat Goes to Hell by Mark Rogers
11. Eating in Philadelphia at a Mexican Restaurant called "Mexican Food." Apart from the food and company being excellent, three Latinos came up to our table and sang us a song. They also sang with some men of some spanish-speaking descent for quite some time.

Take a Break
Stay Awake
For Safety's Sake
Signs such as this dot the highway throughout some state we travel through, Mass. I think. Its a funny sign. I like interpreting it like this, "Take a break from sleeping while your driving, for safety's sake!" In which case, the sign has some a major shortcoming: Most visual stimuli, unless in the form of bright lights, will not rouse your average dozer. Another thing I noticed about the highway, there are a lot less rumble strips along the left side of it (the highway). I think this is because they expect the head-on collision to wake you.

Know what pisses me off the most about spam? When it comes in when you are already checking your mail. Its an annoying pain in the ass. I've already deleted 12 other spam messages, and a new one comes in. Its like the hydra.

What if Jesus had had a stunt double? That would have been cool. Ron, Jesus' Stand-in. I can see Jesus abusing this right. He'll take all the good bits, Ron gets the crappy stuff.

Angry Roman: Let's whip 'im! Then we'll stab him and give him a crown of thorns! Why not crucify 'im while we're at it!?

Jesus: Alright, Ron, you can take this.

Ron: But...I...you...you're God's son! No one will listen to Your Message if Ron, Jesus' Stunt Double dies for their sins.

Jesus: Ron, the Son of God just told you to take the punishment. No one said anything about death. Now, Get up on that stick, there's a lad.

Ron: So, this won't kill me?

Jesus: Uh...No! You're the stunt double for Jesus! God is almost your father. You think he'd let you die for this?

Ron: OK...but if I croak I'm coming after you in the afterlife.

Jesus: Sure you will. Hey, while you're nailed down. NOT TOUCHING YOU!!! NOT TOUCHING YOU!!!! (wiggles hands in Ron's face)

Ron: Cut that out! Quit it! Aren't you supposed to be a moral standard for humanity?

Jesus: Meh, you only live once.

And then, when the babes came around or gifts came his way, Jesus would step back in.

Ron: Ouch, who would have thought Immaculate Conception would be so painful. (God snickers)

Jesus: Yeah, thanks for that one buddy. Oh hey, who are these three wise guys?

Three Wise Men: We come bearing gifts for our new Messiah.

Ron: Thanks fellahs, I-

Jesus: Step aside, Ron, this looks like a job for the Real Thing. Thank you very much Wise Men. I accept your gifts with...eww, what's this? Frankincense? Loganberry? Here you go Ron, you can have the faulty prize.

Ron: Thanks...dick.

Jesus: What was that? Don't make me call God's wrath upon you.

Ron: Sorry, Jesus, sorry. God, no need to get pissy.

"A top professional underwater salvage team is hired by a Canadian Air Force pilot to investigate a mysterious vessel floating adrift off the coast of Alaska." This sentence is from a description of Ghost Ship in my local paper, the Portland (Maine) Press. I couldn't tell you why I was looking it up.

But Bowling for Columbine looks good.

I went to a concert on Saturday in the evening. It was sweet. Sevendust headlined, they are awesome. As intro sounds they had the Natural Born Killers edit of "Something I Can Never Have" by Nine Inch Nails. I thought that was cool. It excited me and got me pumped for the show.
The band preceeding them, 30 Seconds to Mars, was pretty cool, too. I liked them. But when I was looking at them, the singer looked a lot like Jared Leto. I felt certain it was, but I've been wrong about things like this before. Anyway, the person I was there with, Jill, commented on it too. I checked it out when I got home, it is Jared Leto! Fantastic.
The band Cinder also played, they were cool. I recommend their stuff if you can find it and are into it.
Closure was meh.

I'm home now, pretty sweet. Long cold ride up. Bad weather. Minor complications in the morning. We weren't sure we were going to make it, looks like we persevered. Leave it to us, always ruining the Naysayers' self-confidence. I don't know if that is their collective self-confidence or each individual one. Either way you can be sure it has been dented by our efforts.

Finally, after months of toiling and only the Blogger's help section to guide me, my staring uncomprehendingly at the lines of code have paid off. I have set up my Archives. Its the 'cemetary.' Anyway, all the entries are now there, you don't have to scroll all the way to the bottom (or butt) or the page, causing undue wear and tear to your mouse and monitor. Scrolling is bad for your monitor. Seriously! No one ever believes me. It makes me so depressed. The other day I found out my anti-depressants are really tetracycline, which is an antibiotic. Not an anti-depressant. That just made things worse. The sky is perpetually gray for poor ol' Krister. Anyway, archives are up...not that that matters much...




GOD!!! Can't you TAKE a JOKE!!?! yeesh!

So, I'm cruising around an Online Dictionary and I stumbled upon the definition for bowel. I did stumble upon it, I was searching and the words all connected. I didn't just open up the page and look for 'bowel.' Anyway, I'm looking at the roots, it comes from latin, the word botellus, but that's not all. Botellus, it turns out, is a diminutive of the word botulus, which means sausage. Little sausage. Makes your intestines sound kind of cute. I think its funny.