All right, I've messed with the time on this post so it'll appear after the post with the original two drafts.

Apparently the re-edit wasn't up to snuff, either. So there's a cop out, sliced up version from the Editor-In-Chief. Who I still like, it's aping my voice, but lacks my message and comes off sort of sucking the IVCF's dick.

I have requested to have my name removed from it.

Here it is:

Squarin’ up with God
by Krister Rollins

It’s a sweating sea of tangled writhing bodies.

To clarify: They are all wearing clothes. And they are upright. And they are dancing. Square dancing.

The InterVarsity Christian Fellowship (IVCF) decided to host a night of square dancing, lassoing, apple bobbing, and food eating in Clark Gym.

Christina McKee, Outreach Coordinator for RIT’s chapter of the IVCF told me this was an “outreach event” and that they were trying to convince people that “being a Christian isn’t necessarily boring.” But the night almost didn’t happen. There was no band up until a week ago, as the previously contacted minstrels were called off to one of two other coincidental square dances held that very night. Luckily, they were able to piece a band together last minute.

The plan partially worked. There was a huge turn-out with people coming from as far off as Fredonia and Geneseo. However, it did seem like the majority of the attendees were already pretty familiar with IVCF. That said, they were certainly not all familiar faces as Christina did not recognize a bunch of people there, and was also pleasantly surprised by the number of deaf people on the floor. They all had a ball. Or square. The entire night I’m not sure I saw one frown.

As a further testament to the crowd’s enjoyment, the Clark Gym bleachers have never been so populated; and it was always just people sitting out for a round to rest up. No one seemed to mind the weird tarp covering the floor, the cut-in-half donuts, or the Drunken Interloper who came from nowhere and danced on the stage like an idiot until the guitarist politely requested he leave. Which he did.

Keith Hunt, the caller, who has been calling since the ‘50s said, “[it’s] great fun to see everyone dancing out there and having a good time. It’s really encouraging.”

What was interesting to me was how extreme everyone was in their keen intent on having a night of good natured fun. Nothing about the evening upset anyone, and I saw more radiating smiles and glowing happiness at this dance than at any large event I have been to. People happily enjoyed the donuts, sometimes even splitting the halves in half. The non-carbonated and, while it goes without saying, non-alcoholic drinks were consumed with equal fervor. While it may be counterintuitive to many, this event was proof that good clean fun really is a viable form of entertainment for college students.