Anonymous Student Blogger,
Thanks for the comment! It was quite enjoyable to read it, despite my having basically zero clue who you are. As time wears on, you forget the bad parts (and students, even idiotic ones, were not the bad part of being a teacher) and remember the good. I have a lot of fond memories of teaching. It was an important choice for me to make, I think. Maybe even the right one! Which is crazy.
Absolutely crazy.
But what I enjoyed about teaching was the students. It was all you guys that made it worth getting up fucking early and/or (only twice) hung over. It was you guys that made it worth sitting through completely boring and often pointless meetings about meeting state criteria on such and such learning results. It was you guys that made it worth staying late and parents night and all the myriad bullshit and detritus you have to sift through as a teacher.
I wish to express, right here in front of you and whoever is over your shoulder and whatever godhead you might believe in, that all of my students were awesome people. I loved each and every one of my kids. As students, a larger percentage than I wanted were kinda shitty, but as kids you guys were awesome.
The actual in class time was by and large fun. I'll admit I'm horrible at the whole "disciplining" thing and thus a couple of classes were a little wild. A lot wild. Um. A bit ridiculous, really, especially toward the end of the year. BUT when y'all actually shut up for the fifteen seconds it took to explain something it was pretty cool. And I must admit it was part of the wildness that was fun. Only part of it, though.
In the end, the reason I left teaching had nothing to do with any misdeeds or evil enacted by the student population. Even with the meetings and bullshit I was considering teaching for another year. My decision to leave was mine and mine alone. I decided I'm young and have too many irresponsibilities on my shoulders. Reckless shit needs gettin' done, and I feel like I'm the one for it. At least for some of it.
Don't worry, mum, it's nothing too bad. Just road trips and that European thing over the summer and late night painting and spending time working on drawing/writing/guitar instead of grading/lesson planning.
I don't feel that the lifestyle I (currently) want to live coexists peacefully with that of a teacher. Not that teachers don't have fun and aren't great, wonderful people. Many of my favorite people on the planet have been teachers of some stripe. That includes you, Mum. My Dad teaches, albeit in a different context, but I think it counts, Mr. Glennon and Señora Hubka remain heroes of mine. And some day after I've settled down a bit (but not too much, teachers shouldn't be completely lame) maybe I'll teach again.
Who knows?
Teaching is a huge job. Between the actual class time, grading, lesson plans, meetings and sundry you wind up working for most of your life. At least if you're as scattered as I am, you do. Not what I needed. I need a job that doesn't follow me home. I don't want to be as responsible as a teacher needs to be. I'm not a great role model right now. But, I feel like that's a pretty mature decision for myself. Instead of slogging through misery, I'll step into the life I want to live for the time being and embrace it.
But school was an enriching experience. Thanks, former student, for reminding me that even under a pile of shit, there can be nuggets of gold.
Yours,
Señor Rollins
4 comments:
I really enjoyed your students' comment too! I think I've decided lately that teaching is what I want to do... I like the sort of hectic lifestyle that I see all around me and that for crazy, battered, impoverished and overworked people, teachers get RESPECT. Real respect. From studetns and parents alike, and that's really excellent. I think teachers actually make a difference, and they DO make fond memories.
Also your student just sounds awesome. It must have made your day, really. I think the fact that you see students and kids in general as PEOPLE, and not as underlings or children who don't understand anything, it just makes you a better person. I don't think you need to be a teacher in a school, I think your personality is just geared towards helping and nurturing your youngers. I think it' a good quality, and I know you'll be using it wherever you go.
Anyway it's just nice to have someone who's taught to talk to sometimes. *death*
back to grading things with stamps of pikachu.
and the one ACTUAL thing i wanted to say and forgot was this;
there's nothing that makes you want to become and adult more than having someone to be a role model for. That's how I feel about it. I want to go onto do good things because I see how my kids look at me, and I know that whatever I do seems tremendously interesting to them (especially b/c I'm foreign). It's a lot of responsibility. It makes you really want to get yourself together so you can be a good example of what studying hard and being a good person can achieve.
*tear
I was a student of yours. You should have kept with it. When the going gets tough, keep going. Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you gonna get. Have a nice life.
Va a la luna.
While I agree that perseverance is indeed a good virtue, it is also smart to know when to jump ship. There is a point to tough work, it can make you stronger both physically and mentally. Too much of it can be exhausting in the same way. I'm not sure exhausting is a strong enough word. And while sticking with teaching right away could have led to un-misery within a couple years, quitting could lead to general happiness instantly.
I'm not saying give in. It's good to work through hard shit. And I did for a year. That was enough. I learned plenty about myself and the world of teaching. I wasn't even completely turned off to it.
I'll allow that sometimes people do make mistakes. They quit too early or too late. I'd like to think I chose the right moment. Plenty of (former) students have said, "Come back," but none of my peers or elders have said, "You should've gone back." That's gotta be some sort of a sign. There is a certain sort of wisdom of teenagers. But I find it's rarely applicable to good long-term decisions.
Also, isn't the phrase; "When the going gets tough, the tough get going"?
Post a Comment