The sound alarm clocks make is really soul searing. It reaches down to the bottom of my spine and yanks up. The tone, pitch and frequency affect my psyche in a very negative manner. It might be something that develops after years of being woken by the accursed little box with the red LED numbers. Waking me from my slumber is something that easily invokes my wrath, especially if that slumber involves cartoons and my placement therein.

Whenever I hear it it seems to haunt me. I hear it in the ululations of the fan. I hear it in the murmurings of the hot water pipes. I hear it in the whispering of the air ducts. After I've woken up, when the waves ripple my eardrums it sticks inside my skull. As I walk through the halls and hear an alarm clock through a door, the call wedges itself on either side of my skull, about two inches behind my ears. There you will find little bumps that form naturally (hopefully) in the human skull. These are my "annoying buzz" receptors, and it keeps echoing in those spots, creating an unpleasant heat and pressure. The mounds also pick up the television buzz and bugs that are too close to my ear.

Alarm clocks are evil. Unfortunately, it is the only thing-next to extreme measures involving fire/forceful removal from bed-that works on waking me up. Recently I had my alarm clock set on the music mode, no effect. My roommate turned it off, reaching over my sleeping body to do so, and screamed "Krister, Your alarm clock went off!" It wasn't even set on a station, it was set on static! How'd that not wake me up?

If I were to meet the guy who invented alarm clocks I'd beat him about the head and shoulders with a...well, whatever is handy. I'd beat him until his face was a slimy puddle on the pavement.